Gold Castillo, Private Eye
by Technorogy
Summary: Discontinued. Ch'yeah.
1. Overusing the Word Dame

**A/N: Hey, hey, hey, look who wrote something! ...And yeah, that's all for the A/N. Just read the story!**

I was working late. Not that it mattered much, because I don't know a soul who actually sleeps around here. I'm a Pokémon trainer. I'm also a detective. They call me Gold Castillo. I was down on my luck until a certain dame asked me for help.

She blew into my office like a spring breeze in the middle of autumn. Her hair was blue and seemed to have its own center of gravity. Her face had a look that spelled trouble. But trouble is my middle name.

Actually, it's Wilber, but I was trying to imply that I'm used to trouble.

"You've gotta help me, Mr. Castillo!" the dame said.

"Do I, sweetheart?" I asked.

"This is no time for games. I'm being followed," the dame said. She looked around, as nervous as a porcupine in a balloon factory.

"What's your name, sweetheart?" I asked, feeling the need to call her something other than "sweetheart".

"They call me Kris. Or sometimes Crys. But you can stick with Kris," the dame said. "I've only been in town a few days, but I've already stirred up trouble." I nodded. I'd been right about my previous trouble analogy.

"And what help do you need from me, dollface?" I asked.

"I've been told to deliver a certain package. I was advised not to open it," Kris explained. "When I went to the address, no one was there, and I've been having trouble tracking them down. And now I get the feeling I'm being followed." I couldn't help but notice she seemed a lot less nervous now. This dame was as suspicious as a Teddiursa with its hand stuck in a honey jar.

"You definitely seem to be in a pickle," I said.

"So, will you help me? I've got no one else to turn to," Kris said.

"It'll cost you," I said.

"I've got cash," Kris said.

"That's exactly what I wanted to hear," I said. "Maybe I will help you."

"Thank you, Mr. Castillo," Kris said.

"Call me Gold."

* * *

I sat down in my office, contemplating the case. Who was the package gong to? What was in it? And who would want to intercept it? My contemplating was interrupted when something smashed through my window.

I walked over and saw a rock with a note tied to it in the pile of broken glass. It was quite a primitive way to send a message. Hasn't this person ever heard of AIM?

I picked up the rock and read the note. As soon as I saw whom it was from, I shook my head slowly.

Silver...

The redheaded kid had been part of a Pokémon stealing scam a few years back. I managed to catch him and send him to jail. It seemed like the stay was a lot less permanent than I had expected.

_Better not stick your nose in other people's business, Castillo._

That was what the note said, if you hadn't guessed.

I called Kris back to my office. "What do you know about a certain boy named Silver?" I asked her.

Kris was as quiet as a mouse that'd taken a career as a mime. "...We dated a few years back," she said finally. "Broke up with him, he was too much trouble for my tastes."

I was going to point out that I'm used to trouble, then decided against it. "I'm assuming the package is supposed to go to him?" I said.

Kris sighed. "Nothing gets past you," she said. "Are you going to go after him?"

"But of course," I said.

"Don't be too hard on him...Silver's just been tempted by the wrong side, is all," Kris said softly.

"There's no excuse for him," I said. "Don't try to convince me otherwise."

Kris stared at me for a long while. "...Good luck," she said, turning out and leaving my office.

**A/N: Aren't parodies fun? :3 The answer is yes.**


	2. The Title of This Chapter is Debatable

**A:N// Yep, an update already.**

**I think you guessed that I don't own Pokémon, but I'll tell you a secret...I don't.**

I headed back to my office from the local deli. I'd picked up a sandwich. A salami sandwich, if you must know. I was as unassuming as a blind Rattata wandering through a Sweet Scent cloud. Then, I saw the note.

It wasn't the note that I got from Silver. This note was much more important. It was a note from The Spike.

The Spike wasn't actually a spike, but everyone called him that, most likely because his hair was spiky. I would say it was as spiky as a porcupine walking through a balloon factory, but I used that simile in the last chapter. He was a real big shot. Some say he controlled the city from underground. But I knew better. He controlled the city from a high building.

The note didn't actually say anything; it just had his logo on it. But experience with The Spike told me that this was a clear message.

The Spike lived in one of the darker sides of town. Actually, the entire town was pretty shady. But this particular part was as dark as a black cat eating black licorice in the middle of the night in a dark alley. The building was as tall as...well, I can't actually think of a simile right now, but it was tall. I entered.

The lobby was pretty shabby. There were only a few lights and they flickered like a firefly with a case of the hiccups. The couches and chairs there were torn apart with cotton falling out like Pokéballs out of an unzipped bag. There was a desk with a computer, and a boy with a hat that made his head look like a muffin was typing away on it.

I walked toward him, and felt there was something familiar about him. I read his nametag. It read, "Lucas." I suddenly remembered. Lucas had worked in some sort of No-Tell Motel that I had investigated. He quit when there was a scandal about him and the motel's owner. Most of the story was left unsaid, but it was enough for the Motel to get shut down. I should have known The Spike would've taken him as an employee.

"Can I help you?" Lucas asked, not looking up from his typing.

"I'm here to see The Spike," I said. "Know where I can find him?"

Lucas paused in his typing, although he didn't look up. "...Depends on who's asking," he said.

"Gold. Gold Castillo," I said.

"Well, The Spike is out right now," Lucas said.

"Where'd he go?" I asked.

"He left with some dame. Brown hair, white hat, red skirt. They were going to the Java Hut, I think," Lucas said.

I thought about this. It wasn't like The Spike to just go off with any random dame. She had to know something important. I was kind of feeling sorry for her. "Why were they going there?" I asked.

"Better not stick your nose in other people's business, Castillo," he said. I froze like an ice cube in Antarctica. The exact words from Silver's letter...

I decided to try a new tactic. Maybe he would fess up to something. "So...Lucas...if The Spike is out right now, why work so hard? Why don't you relax and watch _Hannah Montana_?" I said.

Lucas narrowed his eyes. "That includes my business, too. Besides, I prefer watching _Suite Life on Deck,_" he said.

I frowned. I obviously wouldn't be getting anything from him. Besides, a guy who watches _Suite Life on Deck_ is trouble. Trouble with a capital T.

I headed into the Java Hut. I might as well work on finding The Spike and this dame. "Table for one?" the waitress there asked.

"Actually, I'm looking for someone. You seen a spiky-haired guy and a dame with a white hat and red skirt?" I asked.

The waitress looked at me suspiciously. "And you are...?" she asked.

"Gold Castillo," I replied.

The waitress looked surprised. "Oh, um, they're in the back," she said. I nodded at her and headed that way. Her face didn't particularly spell trouble.

"Jeez, Blue. Why do you have to be so damn secretive?" a voice said from that direction. The speaker was definitely a dame, but that wasn't what surprised me. Blue was The Spike's real name, but no one called him that. No one that kept his or her lives, anyway.

"It's part of the job, babe. You'll just have to get used to it," a different voice said. I could tell this was The Spike.

I walked closer toward them. "Hello again," I said.

"Ah, Gold. I was wondering if you got my letter," The Spike said.

"Who's this?" the dame asked. She gave me a look as cold as a snowman without his scarf and top hat.

"It's Gold Castillo. He's a detective," The Spike replied.

"You know I don't like those detective types, Blue," the dame said.

"Calm down, babe, he's fine," The Spike said. He turned toward me. "Well, we can't talk here. Let's head back to my office."

The dame glared at him. "You're...you're just finishing this? Right now?" she asked.

"I'll be back later. Hang tight," The Spike said. He stood up and headed out.

"Sorry, angel face. Better luck next time," I said. I could feel the dame's scowl on me as I followed The Spike.

_______________

"Who was that dame, anyway?" I asked as we arrived in The Spike's office.

"Her name is Leaf, but that's besides the point," The Spike said. "I have something to ask of you."

"And what would that be?" I asked.

"Silver has taken a most important item from me," The Spike said. "You're following him, so get it from him when you catch him."

"I don't know what I'm looking for," I said.

"Well, it's a-" The Spike said. He was cut off when something flew threw the window like a baseball. Only it wasn't a baseball, it was another rock. The rock hit The Spike on the head and he hit the ground.

**A:N// TWIST ENDING, WHAAAAAT! Whoohooo. :3 I would much appreciate it if you reviewed. Cya~**


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